This Time
by Better Next Time
Summary: Brendan and Ste have a one night stand when they meet in a club in Dublin, but everything is about to change when by coincidence Brendan and his sister move to Hollyoaks.
1. Chapter 1

Right, I have never written anything before – except uni essays but I don't think they really count. I read Stendan fanfic constantly but I'm too scared to post as me so I've taken a leaf from the extremely wonderful and talented Marble Eyes and Electric Violinist and have created a new account

So here goes;

Ste is 25 and doesn't have kids, Amy is his half-sister. Brendan is 34 and was never sexually abused – his dad is still an arse but this is how I imagine Brendan to be if he didn't have to deal with that side of his past.

Please read and review and tell me your thoughts

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Chapter 1

"Oh my god Ste" Amy screams as she runs into the deli as I'm clearing away the mess from the lunchtime rush. I don't need to reply as she never waits for an answer.

"Well I was on the phone to Cheryl and guess what – you'll never guess – she's moving here, she's bought the club with her brother, isn't that great, it'll be just like old times!"

I should probably explain to you what's going on. Amy is my half-sister, same dad, different mum, which makes all the difference as her family was great and mine was crap. We 'found' each other 8 years ago after I left home and decided to track down my real dad.

She's amazin', she was really supportive when I came out a few years ago and although she worked abroad as a holiday rep for half the year she always encouraged me to go and visit her. This usually ended up with us and her rep friends (Cheryl, Mitzeee – yes with 3 e's – and John-Paul) drunk in various clubs. Anyway back to the present….

Amy was still talking and I managed to catch up pretty quickly with what she was saying. Turns out we've been invited over to Ireland for Cheryl's leaving do in a couple of weeks.

"It's going to be great Ste, a weekend away, you can get cover right? We can let our hair down. Then Cheryl will be living here, she's renting the flat upstairs. I can't wait, I need to go and call Mitz and JP to make arrangements for flying over" and she left as quickly as she had come in and I hadn't even opened my mouth.

2 weeks later

Me, Ames, Mitzeee and JP are in Cheryl's flat. There's boxes everywhere – well she moves in 3 days. We were meant to be leaving but the girls are still getting ready and me and JP are sitting awkwardly on opposite couches in the living room. It's weird, just because we are both gay everyone thinks we should be at it like rabbits but he's not my type, to be honest if it wasn't for Ames I would have nothing to do with him, he's annoying and I feel like he constantly looks down his nose at me. The only way to defuse the tension is by having another vodka and coke.

Finally the girls come out of Cheryl's bedroom they all look amazing – even if Cheryl's already a bit drunk, and we all pile into a taxi and head for Dublin City centre.

We go to a few pubs and by midnight Cheryl is really drunk so Amy decides to take her back to the flat. I was going to go with her but Mitzeee complained that she hadn't squeezed herself into this dress for the night to end without going to a club. So me, Mitzeee and JP waved their taxi off before heading into 'Storm' which turned out to be a gay club.

'Storm' was packed, we got some drinks and as we made our way round the dance floor a group of people decided to leave so we took their booth.

After about an hour of dancing I went back to the booth for a drink and sat watching Mitzeee dance with pretty much every guy around her. That's why she loved gay clubs; she could dance and not get pawed at by every guy in the place. Mitzeee's gorgeous, I might be gay but I'm not blind.

That's when I saw a guy looking over at me. Fuck he's gorgeous, a little taller than me, dark hair, pale skin, bright blue eye and a tache that wouldn't look out of place in an 80's porno. But strangely enough it really suited him. He continued talking to the group of people he was with but he kept looking over at me – I tried not to stare, I really did, but I couldn't help myself. I gave him a shy smile and looked down at my drink, I really needed to get control of myself, I'm basically eye fucking some random guy.

I check to see that Mitzeee and JP are still dancing and I make my way outside to get some air and to calm myself down. Seriously just looking at that guy has me hot all over – I need to get a grip. I stand against the wall trying not to picture what he would look like over me, feel like in me and what he would taste like. I imagine he would like it rough, he looks confident in himself and I'm sure he would know how to handle me. God the fresh air is not helping.

As I head back towards the door it opens and out walks _that_ guy. He looks at me and every thought I've been having must be written over my face because he just smirks at me, takes my hand and leads me into an alleyway beside the club.

Before I can process what's happening he's on me and fuck, he tastes amazing. He kisses me like he's trying to devour me, all tongues and teeth. He pulls back and drops to his knees. It's like my jeans practically fall down as he takes me into his mouth. I throw my head back against the wall as he encases me in wet heat. I was right; he does know what he's doing. I feel my knees start to buckle, I should be embarrassed at how quickly I'm cuming but there is no room for rational thought as I cum down his throat. He leans back on his ankles; lick his lips and smiles at me. He stands and pulls me into a filthy kiss and just as my brain begins to work again he spins me and pushes his fingers in my mouth. I coat them in saliva and release them with a pop. Then I feel him circling my hole and his finger begins to enter me. It's like he knows just how to play me. He enters a second finger and begins to scissor me open. He rubs at my prostate and it takes everything in me not to cry out. I hear the rustle of a condom wrapper behind me as he licks and sucks at my neck, he whispers 'sorry no lube' as he begins to enter me and Christ he's big. It stings and he pulls me into an open mouthed kiss to distract me from the pain and says 'just relax, it'll feel so good'. He begins to thrust and I push back on him as we find a rhythm. We're practically panting into each other's mouths and I can feel myself getting close again. Then I hear her, Mitzeee is shouting on me and I freeze. He looks at me and I nod – a silent understanding that it's me she's looking for. He picks up the pace, takes my dick into his hand and begins stroking me and after another few thrusts I release, he almost growls into my neck as he cums too.

Mitzeee is still shouting 'Ste'; her voice is getting closer as I re-dress myself. I pull him into another kiss. I can hear the click of her heels as he pulls away from me, smiles and says, 'that was fun Steven' and as Mitzeee rounds the corner he pulls himself back into the shadows. Mitzeee grabs me by the arm she doesn't notice that I'm not alone and says "why didn't you answer me, I've been shouting on you for ages? Come on lets go JP has a taxi waiting for us" as she pulled me towards the road and just like that he was out of my life and I realised I didn't even know his name.


	2. Chapter 2

Hope you enjoy this one - please review

Chapter 2

"Mitzeee, Mitzeee are you just going to stand there or are you actually going to help?" She's sipping another coffee and leaning against the deli counter looking at her nails.

"I am helping, I'm making your little deli look good" she flashes a cheeky grin, "anyway, I need to get going, I need get ready for tonight, a club opening, you never know when the press will want to take pictures of me" and just like that she's out the door.

Amy and I are finishing putting the trays of food together as four guys walk in. Apparently they are some of Cheryl's barmen to take the food across to the club. Normally I would take it over to set it up but Cheryl insists that it's not a bit deal and she'll put it where she wants it.

Once it's all done Amy and I head home to get ready for tonight. I've never been on a VIP list for a club before so I want to look good. I shower, shave and try to decide what to wear. Ames insists that I wear my new jeans and a blue shirt that she says brings out my eyes. I sort my hair making the front sit up a bit and spray on some aftershave.

We meet up with Mitzeee and JP and head over to the club which has been re-named Chez Chez – typical Cheryl! We don't need to queue and I can't help but smile when the bouncer checks our names and just lets us in, everyone waiting in the queue looks pissed off cause they have to stand in the cold. I could get used to this.

We make our way inside and it's packed. We go upstairs to the main floor and head to the bar to get a drink. Amy and Mitzeee are looking around for Cheryl. One of the barmen comes over to serve us and as I turn around I notice that Amy, JP and Mitz have found Cheryl. She chats for a bit and says that she has reserved us a table then leaves saying she needs to find her brother. We go to our table and spend the night drinking and dancing, the music is amazing and we are all having such a good night. I've not been this drunk since that night in Dublin.

Oh that night in Dublin…..I still can't believe I hooked up with that guy, I don't do that, I never sleep around but God it was amazing. I've thought about it a lot since we got back, to the point where it feels like it happened to someone else and not me. When we got back to Cheryl's flat I could still taste him and smell him and feel him, Fuck I'm getting hard again.

I excuse myself to the toilet and splash water on my face, this always happens when I think about that night and usually I'm at home so I can deal with myself but I'm in a club full of people so I really need to stop this. I calm myself down and make my way back over to the table. Cheryl has her back to me and she's standing beside a guy, I can only presume that this is her infamous brother.

I've heard all about him, Cheryl worships the ground he walks on. I'm actually looking forward to meeting him, to see if he lives up to the hype. Apparently he was married with two kids when his wife found him in bed with her nephew – what a way to come out, his wife was obviously pissed and blew his closet wide open.

Anyway, as I'm walking over to our table I can see Mitzeee and Amy are giggling at something Cheryl or her brother has said. But what I find really funny is JP, his eyes are popping out of his head and he's practically drooling.

I squeeze in to the seat beside Amy turning my head to talk to her about the state JP has himself in when Cheryl says,

"Oh there you are Ste; I wanted to introduce you to my big brother Brendan"

I look up and Fuck, it's _him_. I can feel my heart literally stop beating, my palms begin to sweat and I can't breathe. Amy nudges my knee, she leans into me laughing saying, "and you thought JP's reaction was funny, pick your tongue up off the floor and say hello".

Brendan is staring at me obviously trying to stop the smirk that is threatening to take over his face.

I really don't know what to do and I don't think I could talk now even if you paid me. I smile at him and say "erm, hi". I'm an arse, that really is the best I can come up with, but can you really blame me, I've been fantasising over this guy since Dublin and now he's standing in front of me.

"Hi, Steven is it" he says. There's a glint in his eye and as everyone begins talking again around us all I can do is try not to stare at him. One of the barmen from earlier comes over and says there's a problem with one of the pumps, Brendan and Cheryl excuse themselves. Amy drags me up to dance but before we leave the table I down the last of my drink.

As I'm dancing it's like I can feel eyes boring into the back of my head I turn round and see _him_, Brendan standing behind the bar looking at me, I can't help but smile, it's like all I can hear is the sound of him growling as he cums, it's playing on a loop in my head. I can't help myself from dancing more provocatively. I notice JP is doing the same but he's making it so obvious that if he was a dog, he'd be trying to hump Brendan's leg.

A little while later a fight breaks out on the dance floor and as I turn to see what's happening Brendan pushes through the crowd past me, his hand brushes my back and it's like there's an electric current running through me. He wades in and has a guy in each hand, his fingers curling round the material of their shirts, he single handedly throws them out and tell the bouncers not to let them back in. As he climbs to the top of the stairs I can see him shaking his anger out, he rolls his shoulders and clenches and unclenches his fists, shakes his head a little and walks back over to the bar. He pours himself a whiskey and I can't help but watch the way his adam's apple moves as he swallows. Seeing him all assertive is such a turn on. He looks at me and as our eyes find each other we share a small smile. JP seems to notice and strops off saying he saw him first, ha ha if only he knew. Yes, ok, I do feel pretty smug but how can I tell them I slept with Cheryl's brother.

Mitzeee joins us to dance, she leans over to me and says that I've properly annoyed JP and all I can think is 'good'.

Later I'm at the bar getting a round in, Brendan comes over taps the barman on the shoulder and says that he'll finish my order. I feel really nervous but I'm desperately trying not to show it. He smiles at me and says "So Steven, you following me?" I laugh and tell him he wishes. He asks how I know Cheryl and I explain that she used to work with Amy. I can't take my eyes off him as he pours the drinks, his lip between his teeth and I all I can think about is how I wish it was my lip. He puts the last drink of the bar and tells me to put my money away. JP appears behind me saying he's there to help me carry the drinks. Brendan smirks (he seems to do that a lot) and mutters 'sure you are'. He smiles at me and says "see you later Steven" as he turns to serve the next customer.

As the night finishes I look around to see if I can spot Brendan, I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not looking for a repeat of last time but I just can't lie to myself like that. I can't see him anywhere so I leave with Amy and the rest of the group.

When we get in Amy pours us both a drink and as usual when talking about men she gets right to the point. "So you like Brendan then?" I can't think where to begin, so I shrug her off and head to bed, unfortunately alone.

_Please review_


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews, favourites and follows.

Hope you like this chapter

Chapter 3

Oh my God I think my head is going to explode. I'm clearing the tables next to the window of the deli, it's hot in here and people keep bloody talking, don't they realise I have the hangover from hell. I look over to Barney at the counter and tell him I'm just popping outside. I sit on the bench, lean my head back and close my eyes. Just as I'm starting to feel slightly less nauseous I hear the beeps of a lorry reversing – I honestly think the universe is against me. I open my eyes and lift my head and that's when I see _him,_ Brendan. He's talking to the driver of the lorry and then signs for the delivery. Fuck this is the first time I've seen him sober and he's still as gorgeous as I thought he was when I was drunk. I didn't think it was possible, I thought my mind must be playing tricks on me, I mean on paper the tache alone should put me off, but it doesn't, it just reminds me of how it feels to have his mouth wrapped round my dick.

He must feel like he's being watched cause he looks up and as corny as it sounds our eyes meet. He hands the clipboard back to the driver and walks towards me. As he gets closer he smiles and says "Steven, you said last night you weren't following me, yet here we are again, only this time you're sitting across from my club. Surely this must be a form of stalking". For a minute I think he's being serious till I notice the glint in his eyes. I point to the sign above my head, "this is my deli right, so if anything, you moving here and buying the club right opposite it, means that it's you that's stalking me". The delivery driver shouts over to him, I can see him roll his eyes and as he turns to walk away he says that maybe he'll come in for a coffee later.

I spend the next 3 hours staring at the door.

I send Barney home about half an hour before we are due to close, there's been hardly any customers for the last hour, everything's clean and we've prepped for the morning and there's no point in both of us hanging around doing nothing.

Just as I've almost given up hope of Brendan coming in the door opens and he walks in. He's changed clothes since earlier. He's now in a grey suit and a tight black shirt – the trousers leave very little to the imagination, not that I have to imagine. I can't help but smile at that thought. I've seriously turned into a 14 year old girl with a crush – it's embarrassing.

He walks in like he own the place. He's just got this air of confidence; I noticed it in the club that night in Dublin. It's like he demands attention wherever he is.

"Hello again Steven, coffee with 3 sugars".

I turn to make his coffee and I can feel him staring at me. He doesn't say anything else, and I really don't want this to be awkward. I mean he's Cheryl's brother and we now work across the street from each other. So with my back to him I start to explain that I know we were just for one night and that I haven't told anyone so it's not a big deal. I don't get any further when I feel him loop his arm around my waist; he's pressed up against me from chest to hip. I didn't even hear him walk round the counter. His mouth is right next to my ear, the sound of him breathing, the smell of him and his close proximity has me beginning to harden. He whispers, "So if you've not told anyone and I've not told anyone, then no-one knows except you and me" then suddenly his mouth is on me and he's kissing the breath right out of me. I turn in his arms and start to really get into the kiss. He moves his hand from my waist and starts to rub my erection through my trousers. I can feel him hardening against my hip. I start to undo the buttons on his shirt and run my fingers through the course hair on his chest. He grabs both my thighs and lifts me and the only thing I can do is wrap my legs around him. He slams me up against the wall and starts to grind against me and I can't help the whimper that escapes my mouth.

Just as we are really getting into it his phone rings. I tell him to ignore it but as soon as it stops ringing it starts again. He pulls his mouth away from me but keeps me pinned to the wall with his hips and one hand as he fumbles around in his pocket for his phone.

"Chez, yeah I did, no it's not busy, yes he made me a coffee, listen Chez, I'll be back in 5 ok. Good"

He hangs up the phone and launches straight back in to kiss me. After about a minute he pulls away from me and lowers my feet to the ground.

"Listen Steven, I gotta go, Chez needs me at the club. Come by later though and we can talk, bring Amy"

He gives me another kiss then he leaves and I'm left standing against the wall with a smile on my face and an erection in my trousers… this is going to be a good night.

After some persuasion I get Amy to agree to come to the club. She gives me a knowing look when I try to convince her it's not because I have a thing for Brendan it just to support Cheryl. She doesn't believe me I can tell but I'm grateful she doesn't push it.

We get to the club and are walking towards the bar when we see JP and Mitzeee on the edge of the dance floor. Turns out JP wanted to support Cheryl too. We drink and we dance but I can't see Brendan anywhere. I can't help but feel disappointed.

Later when I am walking back from the toilet someone grabs me by the arm and pulls me. I turn round to ask what the fuck they're doing when I realise its Brendan and he's pulling me through a door. He closes the door and slams me up against it.

He crowds in close and says "Where were we?" He leans in to kiss me again but I turn my head away. He looks confused and says, "Listen Steven have I got this wrong, I thought you'd wanna", he doesn't get any further because I unbuckle and unzip him and drop to my knees.

I remember thinking in Dublin that he felt big but with his dick in front of me I honestly don't know how I ever got that in me, he's huge. I give him a few strokes as he hardens. It's the first time I've had my hands on him and it just feels perfect, like he fits. I can feel the vein pulse as I take him into my mouth and run my tongue over the head of his cock. I start to slide him in and out my mouth and fight off my gag reflex, relaxing my throat so I can take him deeper. I know how good he is at this and I've never doubted my skills when giving head but I really want to make sure this is a blow job he'll never forget. I put my hands round his waist and cup his bum cheeks, pulling him forward slightly to encourage him to fuck my mouth. The groans that escape him are such a turn on and he picks up speed thrusting into my mouth. I pull back and dip my tongue into the slit, he tastes amazing and as I flick under the rim he thrusts forward and comes down my throat.

He pulls me up and sticks his tongue in my mouth so he can taste himself. As we break away he cups my face with his hands and runs his thumb over my bottom lip, "Such a pretty mouth Steven". He pushes me back on to the couch and takes off my trousers as he kneels between my legs. I close my eyes and throw my head back in anticipation of him returning the favour, but he doesn't go for my cock. I feel his tongue begin to lap at my hole and as he pushes in I swear I can see stars, his mouth really should come with a health warning.

He adds a finger in beside his tongue then adds another, brushing up against my prostate and my body can't help but seize up as a cry falls from my mouth. He pulls away and sits down on the couch beside me. He must see the confused look on my face, I mean I'm still as hard as a rock and he's just leaving me sitting here. Just when I'm about to ask if he's having second thought he nods towards his dick and tells me to hop on.

I straddle his thighs, roll a condom on him and smother him in lube, all the time trying not to think about why he has supplies in his office and who he planned on using them with. I slowly lower myself down on him. He kisses me through the pain and as the resistance lessens I start to circle my hips. He lets me have control for all of about 10 seconds before he begins thrusting up into me, hitting my prostate with every move.

I lean my forehead against his shoulder as we both come down from our high and I desperately try to get my breathing under control.

He kisses my temple and says, "Listen Steven, no-one knows about us do they, why don't we keep it that way, just for just now. I know what Chez is like and it's too much pressure, if she knows I'd never hear the end of it".

I turn my head to look at him and ask if that means he wants to meet up again. I can't help the self-doubt, I mean look at him, he's like a wet dream and I don't get why he'd want me. He pulls me in for another kiss before he tells me he thinks we should get to know each other. I smile and nod and then kiss him again. I can't believe my luck.

We get dressed, which takes a surprisingly long time cause I can't stop kissing him can I. I can't help but think he shouldn't wear clothes; he's got such a nice body that it's a shame to cover it up. But then he bends over to get his phone off his desk and the way his trousers cling to his arse makes me re-think that cause he's hot in clothes too.

He slides his hands down my waist over my hip and I think he's about to start round two when he puts his hand in my pocket and pulls out my phone. He adds his number and calls himself so he can save mine. Then he gives me another kiss and says he better get back to work.

I tell Amy that I had gone out for some fresh air when she asks where I've been and she drags me up to dance. It's the last thing I want to do, I've just cum and I feel all heavy and sleepy but I can't tell her that so I follow her onto the dance floor.

I keep glancing over to the bar and I see JP very obviously flirting with Brendan. It makes my skin crawl and I know I shouldn't feel jealous, it's not like he's my boyfriend but I can't help feeling like I want to rip JP's face off. After the next song I tell Amy that I'm going to get another drink and I make my way over to the bar. I hear Brendan laugh and say "no can do kid, I'm closing up here then walking my baby sister home". I laugh which makes Brendan and JP look at me. Brendan asks what the hell that noise was, telling me that my laugh sounds like a drowning donkey. JP laughs at his comment and I can't help but have a pop at how he's just been turned down by Brendan. Brendan makes some comment about us not cat fighting in his club and walks away and I can't help but feel slightly resentful that he didn't really acknowledge me. Some other barman comes and serves me as I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. My mood lightens when I see it's a text from Brendan,

_such a pretty mouth when you pout, can't wait to have it round my cock again soon BB_

_please review_


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed and to the guest reviewers who I can't pm. As I said at the beginning this is the first thing I have ever written and your reviews are helping to build my confidence and they really make me smile, so thanks again.

Chapter 4

A month, that's how long it's been. I wasn't sure at first how I felt about sneaking around and seeing Brendan behind everyone's back, but as I'm lying here with my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around me, I know that it's been totally worth it.

We have to grab whatever time we can get together, in the deli store cupboard, the club office, his flat, my flat, basically anywhere that's empty. Don't get me wrong it's not just about sex – although that is amazing. I mean I've never felt so wanted and Brendan has taught me so much about myself. But we've also spent time just getting to know each other. I thought to begin with that him wanting to keep us a secret was less about Cheryl and more about him not feeling comfortable with his sexuality but I was so wrong. We escape the village whenever we can and go somewhere; anywhere that no-one knows us. I've seen more of the country in the last month that I have in my whole life. It sounds stupid but even going for a coffee together just puts a smile on my face.

He's opened up to me which is something that feels strange to him, he's more the type of man who explains things through actions, but with me he uses words too. He's told me about his marriage and how he thought that if he acted as if he was straight he would wake up one morning and he wouldn't have to act anymore, it would become reality. He misses his boys – it kills him being away from them and he would do anything for Cheryl. I feel like I get to see a side to him that no-one else gets to.

The one problem I have is that JP just won't take the hint. He keeps flirting with Brendan and Brendan encourages it, I'm sure he does. He likes JP stroking his ego. It takes everything in me not to tell him to back the fuck off, I've told Brendan that one day I might just snap but he just laughed and pulled me into an amazing kiss that had me forgetting my own name never mind why I was angry.

Anyway, tonight we are all off to the club. They're hosting some sort of charity night and there's going to be loads of footballers and soap stars there so obviously Mitzeee has to attend. We are on the VIP list again, that's just the way it is now, our names are permanently there just in case we turn up one night.

We are all dancing away and I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, all the message says is

_Office NOW! BB _

I excuse myself to the toilet but sneak into the office instead as soon as the door closes Brendan is on me. He kisses the air out of my lungs when he's like this, I love it.

'Two days Steven, it's been two days and you turn up looking like that, how the fuck am I meant to concentrate and get any work done when your jeans are practically skin tight'

He cups my bum cheeks in his hands and kisses me again. I can't help but roll my hips forward, searching for some friction. He pulls away and says 'down boy, I gotta get back out there, but later yeah, stay behind when we close up'. All I can do is nod and he gives me a quick kiss before heading back out into the club. I leave it a couple of minutes and go back out too.

As I am trying to find Amy or Mitzeee (I'm not too fussed about finding JP) I feel someone grab my bum, I turn around expecting to see Brendan but he's not there. It's some guy, a bit taller than me but he has quite a similar build with brown hair. He leans close to me asks if I fancy getting out of here. I tell him that I'm taken and apologise as I walk away. Mitzeee is standing in front of me and she looks like the cat that got the cream. She asks who I'm seeing and I try to tell her that I'm not seeing anyone I just wanted to get away from that guy. She smiles and nods then walks away from me.

I go up to the bar and see Brendan standing there ignoring the people waiting to be served. He looks pissed off but kinda like he's trying to hide it. I stand in front of him and give him a smile that he says is his and he smiles back at me but it's tight and not what I usually get from him. He leans over and says "you having fun out there Steven" I suddenly realise that he saw me talking to that guy and that's what's wrong with him. I flash him a cheeky grin and tell him that it's not my fault I'm irresistible. He looks me up and down, like he's trying to memorise me and tells me that he might just have to tie me up in his office and leave me there if anyone else tries it on again. I know we are walking a fine line cause we are surrounded by people but if I'm honest I quite like seeing him all jealous. He pours me a drink and tells me he'll be watching me and if that guy comes near me again. But I walk away from him before he can finish that sentence. When I turn round Mitzeee is standing behind me smiling. I smile at her and walk past her. I sit at our table, pull my phone out and start texting Brendan.

'_I think I like you jealous'_

'_I'm not jealous, I don't do jealous, have you seen my face BB'_

'_Yeah you are, you hated it when that guy had his hand on my arse'_

I don't get a reply and when I look over him at the bar I see him laughing with JP, fucking JP. I can't help but text Brendan again

'_JP are you fucking kidding me?'_

'_You're not jealous are you Steven? BB'_

I don't even know why he's being so pissy I mean it's not like I encouraged that guy. Well two can play at that game. I scan the dance floor to see if I can see the guy from earlier and he's dancing beside Amy and Mitzeee so I get up to dance with them. As I'm dancing I can feel the guy behind me. He's not touching me but he's close enough. I look up to catch Brendan's eye and he looks like he's going to explode, there's a vein on the side of his head that is in serious danger of popping. So I just smile at him. He moves round the bar and stands beside JP who looks like all his Christmas' have come at once. It pisses me off.

I start gyrating my hips and I can feel the guy behind me move closer but he's still not touching me. Then I changes. It happens so quickly my head is spinning. First the guy slips his arms around my waist and starts grinding against my arse. I'm about to tell the guy where to go when suddenly he's not touching me anymore. I turn around and I can see the guy is being propelled backwards by Brendan. I've never seen him look so angry and intimidating. He practically growls at the guy to leave me the fuck alone and who the fuck does he think he is. The guy gets practically thrown down the stairs and told to get the fuck out of Brendan's club. Brendan storms back up the stairs and disappears into the office, slamming the door behind him.

I now feel really guilty, I was just playing with him, I wanted him to know how I feel when he flirts with JP, but I think I may have gone too far. Amy and Mitzeee are just standing staring at me and I have no idea what to say or do.

I turn and walk towards the office and as I open the door I can see the contents of his desk all over the floor and he's sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I walk over and sit beside him but I still don't know what to say. He breaks the silence asking if I'm happy with myself. I try to explain that I'm sorry and I just wanted him to see what him encouraging JP does to me but I don't get to explain any further when he turns round and pushes me back onto the couch. He wastes no time in pulling off my trousers and boxers, quickly preparing me and then he pushes himself into me. I don't think I'll ever get used to how he makes me feel. He just feels so right inside me. He trusts into me so hard that the couch is banging against the wall and I can't help but scream his name. He just keeps repeating _'mine' _over and over and just when I'm about to cum he stops moving and tells me to tell him that I'm his. He starts thrusting again and I just scream that I'm his and I explode in-between our bodies. He rides me through my aftershocks and as my muscles contract around him he cums telling me that no-one but him gets to touch me anymore. If I wasn't so blissed out I might feel weird about him being so possessive but then again that's exactly how I feel when I see him with JP, so maybe we just think alike.

He grabs some tissues to clean us up then settles himself back down beside me on the couch and I tuck my head in under his chin, it's like it's where I'm meant to be.

He strokes his fingers lightly up and down my back and says maybe it's time for us to tell people about us. I can't help the smile that appears on my face and just as I'm about to reply the office door swings open and Mitzeee and Amy are standing there grinning. Amy just looks at me with a big grin on her face and Mitzeee says "I knew it, but as much as I love a good show, and believe me I'm sure people would pay to see the two of you, I think we should leave you to finish whatever it is you were doing" and with a wink she turns and leaves dragging a bemused looking Amy away with her.

I can't help but laugh. We were just about to tell everyone but now we don't have to. Brendan kisses me on the temple and says "Well that happened, least it wasn't my wife and you're not her nephew". I laugh again and he pulls me closer. But then he sits bolt upright and starts doing up his trousers saying "Fuck…. Fuck, fuck, fuck" I ask him what's wrong and he says he's gotta go find Cheryl before Mitzeee or Amy tell her. He gives me a quick kiss the runs out the office.

I take my time getting dressed and fixing my hair, cause he always manages to look amazing even after we have sex where as I look like I've been dragged through a bush backwards.

I make my way back through the crowds of people of the dance floor and slide into the only unoccupied chair at our table, which happens to be in between Amy and Mitzeee, I swear it's like they've planned it. They both look at me with cheek splitting smiles and I can't help but smiling back.

They've got a million questions. Amy wants to know how long it's been going on so I try to give her the quick version, saying that we hooked up in Dublin but didn't know each other, but we've been _seeing _each other for about a month. It suddenly dawns on Mitzeee that that's where I disappeared to that night and why I was standing in an alleyway. She laughs and tells me I'm a dirty stop out, then her face turns all serious and she says "but what we're all dying to know is – how big is his cock?" I can feel my face turn red and I try to hide behind my arms.

Mitzeee and Amy are laughing at me when JP walks over and says "oh are we taking the piss out of Ste, I love seeing him squirm, what's he done this time?" I can see Amy's face get angrier and angrier cause she hates it when people have a go at me and she spits out "Brendan, he's been doing Brendan". She knows that JP likes him. His face falls and he says something about him obviously having shit taste in men, then he stands up and storms away.

About half an hour later I see Brendan and Cheryl come out of the office and walk over to the bar. Brendan pours both of them a large whiskey which they both down in one. Cheryl doesn't look pissed off and I know everything is ok when she puts her glass back down on the bar and pulls Brendan into a hug. I can't help but smile.

Cheryl comes over to the table and sits next to me in JP's chair. She puts her arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a hug pressing my face against her chest. Mitzeee nudges her and says 'quit trying to turn him her not interested in your bad boys' Cheryl just holds me tighter and tells Mitzeee that she's not the Brady I'm interested in. Cheryl asks where JP is just as Brendan comes over and Amy says he's gone home. I can tell she's feeling bad about snapping at him. Cheryl laughs and I take my opportunity to sit up, pulling my face out of her cleavage, "so he found out about you and my brother then" and I just nod. Brendan stands behind me and Cheryl's seats saying 'Jesus Christ Cheryl, shut up' but as he says it I can feel his hand brush against the back of my neck, his thumb rubbing the shaved ends of my hair and I know he doesn't really mind that everyone knows about us now.

As the club closes Brendan comes over to me and brushes his hand over my face asking if I wanna go back to his flat once he's closed up. I ask if Cheryl is going to be there and he says it doesn't matter cause she knows about us now. So I nod my head and give him a quick kiss. Only it's never a quick kiss with us and as he starts to deepen it I remember where we are and I pull away. He looks confused and I tell him we'll continue later but I need to go and tell Amy that I'm not going home.

Later that night as we are lying in bed after another round of mind blowing sex he tells me what Cheryl's reaction was. He said she was fine with it cause she liked me so it wouldn't be awkward. I'm so happy lying here but I know what I'm like and I have a big mouth that can't keep my thoughts in my head. Just as he's falling asleep I ask him what's happening with us. He turns his head to look at me and says, "I thought we established that you're mine and if anyone else tries to touch you I'm gonna rip their balls off" I can't help but laugh and tell him that it works both ways. He just hums in response and as I'm drifting off to sleep I feel him kiss the top of my head and say, "Goodnight Steven" and I can't help but smile.

I wake up in the morning to the smell of bacon wafting into the room. I turn over to see Brendan but the bed's empty. I take the dressing gown off the back off the door and make my way through to the kitchen. Brendan is sitting at the table reading a paper and Cheryl is at the cooker. She looks at me and says 'morning love' and hand me a plate with a bacon sandwich. I walk over to the table and Brendan smiles at me, then leans up and gives me a kiss.

I could get used to this.

_Please review_


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone, I hope you had a lovely Christmas and Santa was good to you all.

Thanks again for the lovely reviews.

Chapter 5

It's been six months since everyone found out about us, seven since we started seeing each other, and I would love to tell you that everyday has been perfect but it's not. We've had our struggles. I found out more about his past and for a while I wasn't sure if I could get past it. He's never said he was whiter than white but I found it difficult to accept how his life had been. But he's promised that the drugs, violence and general gangster behaviours were behind him. A fresh start, that's what he called moving here and opening the club with Cheryl.

He's a good man. I can see it. And it's not as if I don't have a past is it?

So now we are together, no more secrets and it works. We've not said the L word yet but I definitely can feel myself falling in love with him. He's not really a feelings kind of guy though and all I can think about is the awkward silence that would follow if I told him. But I can feel it; I know he loves me too. It's like there's this connection between us, to be honest it's kind of weird, but it's like we don't always have to talk, we just know. A look can sometimes say it all.

Like tonight, we are in the club, again. Seriously if I wasn't shagging the boss and getting in for free I would never be here, but it's one of the many perks. He's serving behind the bar and I can't help but stare at him. He's a master of this profession and makes bartending look sexy. He makes everything look sexy. Every so often he looks up and catches my eye. There's a glint in his gorgeous blue eyes that tells me as soon as queue in front of him has been served I'm going to be slammed against the office door screaming myself hoarse. I can't wait.

It doesn't work out that way though, one of the staff has to go home cause they can't stop throwing up, Cheryl has a night off and the club is packed. I decide to help out. I go into the office and get changed into one of the spare staff t-shirts. Then I make my way over to the bar, and start serving. I'm half way through making the first order of drinks when Brendan walks over to me and asks what I'm doing. He's not annoyed and he's looking at me like he wants to throw me on top of the bar and fuck me senseless. I just smile at him and say 'helping'. He nods and starts to serve the next customer.

About an hour later the crowds at the bar are starting to lessen and this guy appears in front of me, I ask if I can help him and he says he'll have a pint and my number. I can practically feel Brendan tensing up beside me and I tell the guy that I can give him a pint but that's all. The guy looks disappointed and asks if I'm sure, I nod and tell him that my boyfriend wouldn't be too happy if I gave him my number. He looks me up and down and I can feel myself flush under his scrutiny as he says, "your boyfriend's a lucky guy, I hope he knows that". Brendan puts his hand on my back and I can feel his fingers creep under the hem on my t-shirt. He stares at the guy while leaning forward into his space and practically growls at him, "yeah, I do know I'm a lucky guy" Brendan then turns to me and pulls me into an amazing kiss, I try to deepen it as he pulls away and embarrassingly I fall forward slightly at the sudden loss of contact. He smacks my arse and tells me I look too good in this shirt, then moves away to keep serving.

I turn back to tell the guy how much his drink is. His mouth is slightly open and he hands me the money, I give him back his change and he is still staring at me. He hands me a piece of paper and says his name is Noah and if I change my mind to give him a call. Is he deluded, he must be, I mean there's no comparison between my Brendan and this Noah. I slide the paper back to him and tell him he has no chance. Then turn to serve the next customer.

As the night draws to a close I start collecting the last couple of glasses and place them on the bar. Brendan tells the staff to go home and to close the door behind them. He walks over to me at the bar and leans down to kiss me. He then moves to my ear and tell me that I look fucking amazing in the uniform. He moves to re-start the kiss but I pull away and tell him there's something I've been thinking of all night. He must be able to read the look on my face cause he smirks and pulls me closers saying, "hmmm what's that then?" I wriggle out of his arms and jump up onto the bar behind me and tell that I couldn't stop thinking about how good it would feel to have him inside me, fucking me on his bar. He literally growls as he jumps up on top of me. I go to take my top of but he tells me to leave it on.

We get like this sometimes, well most of the time to be honest, it's frantic, like we can't get enough of each other, there's just this desperate need to be closer.

His fingers work me open as he continues to kiss me like his life depends on it. He enters me in one thrust and god he feels amazing. I'm so glad we got ourselves tested; I mean I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me when sitting in the clinic waiting room, but the ways he feels inside me with no barriers makes the embarrassment totally worth it. He continues to thrust inside me, hitting my prostate every time. As he moves harder and faster I can feel that familiar sensation run through me as my orgasm starts to build. I take myself in my hand and start to stroke my dick in time with his thrusts. The force of his thrusts knocks a couple of the glasses off of the bar at the same time as I release, screaming his name. Brendan cums almost immediately after me, my inner muscles pulling his orgasm from him.

He collapses on top of me cause there's no room for him to lie beside me on the bar and just as we are about to move we hear a cough coming from behind us.

"_Well, that was quite a show"_

I turn my head to see who it is, it's a guy but I don't recognise him, but from the way Brendan's body tenses I can tell he knows exactly who this is. I'm glad we both still have our tops on and Brendan's trousers are only round his ankles so he pulls them up as he hops off the bar. He makes sure he's standing in front of me so that I can get my trousers on without this guy seeing me, whoever he is.

I jump down off the bar and stand beside Brendan who keeps staring at the guy

'_What the fuck are you doing here?'_

The guy looks at the floor then back at Brendan and says he's come to catch up with Cheryl.

Brendan looks like he's going to explode, I can't help but wonder who this guy is, he clearly knows Brendan but he doesn't look like someone from Brendan's darker side. He's about the same height and build as me. That's when it dawns on me who he is, Macca, Eileen's nephew. I can barely see straight, if he thinks he can just come swanning back in and have Brendan he's wrong. I slide my hand down Brendan's arm just so he knows I'm here for him and I almost drop on the spot when Brendan interlinks our fingers. He does it in bed sometimes but he's not the type of guy to walk round the village holding hands. I can't help but squeeze his hand a bit.

"She won't want anything to do with you, and neither do I so just fuck off back to the ferry and go home"

Macca says he'd like to find out from Cheryl himself, then he turns and walks back down the stairs and out of the club.

Brendan turns to face me and strokes the hairs away from my forehead saying "so that was Macca". I know that I have to man up and not let it bother me that this guy has slept with _my_ Brendan so I smile at him and lean up to give him a quick kiss. He smiles at me and I laugh. I can't help myself and say, "Thank fuck your taste in men has improved". He grabs me and kisses me and when he pulls away he says, "let's go home Steven".

We lock up the club and make our way back to the flat, he says he's going to have to warn Cheryl that Macca's here but when we get in the flat is in darkness. He decides to wait until morning to tell Cheryl, there's no point in waking her. So we go off to bed.

I get up and dressed early the next morning cause I've got to open up the deli. I love that I have stuff here at Brendan's so I don't have to go home before my shift, it makes me feel like we're a normal couple, well as normal as we'll ever be, I mean I am going out with Brendan Brady. That thought makes me smile.

I set up the deli and it's a really quiet morning so I leave Barney out front to serve the customers and I stay in the kitchen sorting the food for some client's 40th birthday party. Barney comes through and says there's some guy wants to talk to me so I wash my hands and head out front.

It's Macca.

He looks at me like he would quite happily jump over the counter and throttle me. I can tell just by looking at him why here's here. I mean here in Hollyoaks. He doesn't want to catch up with Cheryl, he wants Brendan and I can promise you that's not going to happen.

I try to keep calm and ask how I can help him. He asks if we can talk so I walk over to one of the tables next to the window and sit down. He follows me and sits with his back to the door. He doesn't speak and it's really awkward. I'm not going to break the silence, even though it's really hard for me to not talk. I ask Barney to bring us a couple of coffees.

Macca continues to look at me and says, "So have you known Brendan long?"

I try to stop the smile that crosses my face and say, "what's it to you?"

He tries to tell me that Brendan will never admit he's with me and that he's trouble. Now I can't help the smile that crosses my face because when I look up Brendan and Cheryl are standing behind Macca, Brendan looks like he wants to kill him but its Cheryl who speaks first.

"_So Brendan says you wanted to catch up with me but that's obviously a load of shit"_

Brendan walks round the table and leans down to kiss me. He makes a show of it, licking into my mouth and groaning slightly. I continue to deepen the kiss – anything I can do to help, right. As we break away I can't help but look at Macca, he looks like the floor has been ripped out from under him. He obviously didn't know that Brendan was out, like publicly out.

"_Go home Macca, there's nothing here for you anymore, and you can't get between me and Steven, it's not going to happen, so just leave yeah"_.

Brendan throws some money on the table and tells him that the money should cover his ferry. Macca stands up and storms out leaving the money on the table.

Cheryl can't help but smile at us; she gets like that when Brendan shows his softer side and kisses me in public.

I lean up to give Brendan another kiss, then he cups my face in his hands and asks what else Macca had said. I tell him he said nothing really, he was just silent and stared at me for ages then, well he heard the rest.

"_Well we night have to see him again, will you be ok with that?"_

I ask why and it turns out that it's Brendan's oldest son's birthday and he's having a party. Brendan wants me to go with him. I can't help the butterflies in my stomach, this is huge. He wants me to meet his kids and his family. Obviously Macca is Eileen's family so he might be there, but right now I am on cloud nine and I really don't care if he's there or not. Brendan wants me to go with him.

I'm going to Dublin again, this time with Brendan, I can't wait.

_Please review_


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone. The last chapter got less reviews than the previous one. I hope you still like this story, but review and let me know :-)

Hope you like this chapter, it's a bit longer.

Hugs x

Chapter 6

So Cheryl, me and Brendan check into a hotel in Dublin. It's so fancy, I've never stayed anywhere like this. I can't stop staring at, well, everything.

We go to our rooms and agree to meet for breakfast tomorrow, it's only like eight at night but Cheryl says she's tired. I don't think she is, I think she just wants to get away from Brendan. He's in a right mood and I don't know why. Cheryl tried to ask him but he just grunted that he was fine.

I need to find out what's wrong cause I ain't going to the party tomorrow if he's still like this. He's lying on the bed (which is huge by the way) flicking through the tv channels. I go into the bathroom and notice there's a massive bath. So I start running it and put in loads of the complimentary bubble bath. Once its full I go out and tell Brendan to come with me, he mumbles something about having seen a bathroom before but gets up off the bed and comes over anyway. Once he's in the bathroom I close the door behind him and tell him to strip. He looks at me as if I've lost my mind but his face changes when I take off my top and start to lower my trousers. I get in the bath and tell him to get in behind me, which he does. I can see I'm already having an effect on him, I love that just looking at me makes him hard.

He wraps his arms and legs around me as I lie back against his chest.

He's still not talking so I pick up the sponge and start to wash his legs. I love the way the hair on them lies when it's wet. He nuzzles into my neck and starts talking. He's really quiet but his mouth is right next to my ear so I can hear what he's saying.

"_Remember when we met in that club here, it was my leaving night too. After you left I got a taxi back to Eileen's. I just wanted to try to leave things on a better note. It took some persuading to get her to let me in the house. The good thing was she couldn't shout at me cause the boys were asleep upstairs. She was still angry with me, I mean, I can't really blame her but it had been six months since she caught me with Macca so I kinda hoped that she'd have calmed down a bit."_

I'm so glad he's talking about what's bothering him so I bite my lip to stop myself from interrupting him.

"_She told me that she just wished that I had been honest with her, that she felt our whole marriage had been a lie. I tried to explain that I couldn't be honest with her, cause I couldn't be honest with myself. The world I lived in just wouldn't accept me; at least I didn't think it would. Steven, you've got to understand that I was brought up believing that men who felt like I felt were weak"._

He obviously can feel my body freeze at his statement and he tilts my face towards him and gives me a kiss. Just a little one, I think it's to reassure me that he doesn't feel that way anymore.

"_Anyway, she relaxed a bit during our talk; I think she saw that I was trying to be honest with her now, even if it was a bit late. She promised that she would never stop me seeing our boys, and I can't tell you how relieved that made me feel. She had already outed me to what felt like the whole of Dublin but she hadn't mentioned to anyone who it was she had found me with. That's why I've been in a shit mood. It's bad enough that I have to face everyone tomorrow without having to face him in front of everyone, when I'm the bad guy and he's still in the family fold"._

I pull his arms around me tighter and pepper kisses along them. He apologises and I tell him he never has to say sorry to me and that he can talk to me anytime. He kisses me again and it feels like the darkness he's been in all day has lifted a bit. I'm so glad he felt he could talk to me about it.

He begins to trail a hand down towards my groin as I deepen the kiss. He begins to stroke my dick and the lubrication of the water makes it feel amazing and all too quickly I'm cuming and I can see it floating around in the water. I can't help but laugh and he looks at me and asks why I'm laughing. I scrunch my face up and nod towards my cum and say _"that's gross, look"._

He stands up and climbs out of the bath then lifts me and carries me through to the room, I can't help but giggle and tell him that I'm not a girl. Then he throws me unceremoniously down onto the bed and crawls on top of me. He licks up my thigh towards my dick and says, "Thank fuck you're not a girl". He dips his head between my thighs and goes straight for my hole. Seriously the things he can do with his tongue, it's amazing. He alternates between coiling it inside me and lapping at the rim. He then adds a finger in beside his tongue and I can't help but jump up the bed slightly as he angles it to rub against my prostate. He adds another finger and I know what he's like, he could rim and finger me all day – he has far too much self-control, so I tug on his hair to pull him up towards my head. He grabs the lube from his toilet bag and smothers himself with it, then rubs a little on me too. He lifts my legs up so they are resting on his shoulders and slides himself into me. Fuck, he's so big. I don't think I'll ever get used to how full I feel when he's in me. It's the most intense pleasure I've ever felt when he begins to thrust, getting the angle just right so that he rubs against my prostate as he moves in and out. I can't help but pull my nails up and down his back as he sucks on the skin at my collar bone. I swear I am bent in two, he always told me I was flexible but Jesus Christ, I didn't know I could bend like this. It feels like my orgasm is being violently ripped from me and I can't help the screams that are coming out of my mouth. He thrusts a few most times then he releases too. He collapses onto the bed beside my saying 'fuck, that was amazing'. I lean across and grab some tissues to clean us up before cuddling into his side and quickly falling asleep.

When I wake up in the morning the bed is empty and I can hear the shower running. He obviously doesn't know I'm awake yet cause I can hear him singing a Lady GaGa song. There's a soft knock on the door so I pull on some boxers and a t-shirt and open the door. It Cheryl, she opens her mouth to speak but then she hears Brendan singing and she can't help but laugh saying,_ "I'm so glad he's in a better mood, I've been awake for ages trying to come up with an excuse to get out of today. Did he tell you what was wrong?"_

I ask her if she knew that Eileen had never told anyone that is was Macca that he'd been caught with.

_"Well yeah, is that all that was wrong with him, seriously? Macca is old news, he's got you now. And Macca's not going to turn up today, surely Eileen wouldn't allow it"._

Brendan switches off the shower which just makes his singing sound louder.

Cheryl smiles and says, _"Well you've obviously managed to cheer him up"_ she nudges her shoulder against mine and tells me she'll see me at breakfast in half an hour. Then she winks at me and tells me not to be late.

Brendan opens the door to the bathroom and jumps about 3 feet in the air, screaming like a girl. He really didn't know I was standing outside the bathroom door. I can't help but laugh, I can't breathe and my cheeks hurt, I'm laughing so much. Brendan grabs me by the waist and says,_ "so you think that was funny, cheeky little shit"_ then he kisses me and I can't breathe again.

Needless to say we were late for breakfast.

We walk into the dining room and Cheryl just rolls her eyes at us, then says she's booked a taxi to take us to Eileen's.

The taxi ride is quiet. Brendan doesn't say much and Cheryl has given up trying to make small talk with him. He just sits with his hand on my leg, his thumb stroking backwards and forwards.

I'm nervous, I mean Eileen knows I'm coming but this isn't just a let's meet the boys and my ex-wife kind of visit – which would be scary enough. This is a lets meet the boys and my ex-wife, my family and friends and her family and friends. To be honest I'm shitting myself, not to mention that Brendan looks like he's either going to flip or go running back into the safety of his closet. I don't know how he'll be with me in front of everyone. I know he's not a touchy feely kind of guy and I'm fine with that. But, well I just don't know what to expect.

The taxi pulls up in a street that is worlds apart from the type of street I grow up on, I mean my next door neighbours front window had broken so many times that they ended up just leaving a board on it with writing saying 'This window also comes in glass'.

This street is posh, but then I suppose Brendan was supplementing his income back when he bought it.

We walk up to the front door and none of us really knows what to do.

Cheryl rolls her eyes at us and chaps the door muttering 'fuck sake guys'.

The door swings open and a small boy with hair as dark as Brendan's comes hurtling towards us and throws himself at Brendan. Turns out this is Paddy. Brendan picks him up and squeezes him into a tight hug.

We walk into the hall and a woman appears at the end of the hallway. Brendan puts Paddy back down and nods towards the woman saying, "Eileen", she gives him a tight smile and says hi to Cheryl. She then looks at me and says, "So you must be Steven". I say hi to her and tell her to call me Ste. It's kinda awkward, but then Paddy reappears with another boy a bit older with fairer hair, this must be Declan.

We walk into the living room and Brendan sits between his boys on the couch. He introduces me as his friend Steven and I laugh and tell them both to call me Ste. It's easy with Declan and Paddy, I mean I can play computer games and talk about football with them. I can sense that Eileen keeps wandering through to watch us. Cheryl disappears into the kitchen to talk to her. But as people start arriving Cheryl comes back through to sit with me, it's like she can tell how strange this all is for me. She keeps giving me reassuring smiles.

The living room is packed with people and I'm still sitting with Cheryl. Brendan and Declan have disappeared. I ask Cheryl if it would be ok if I went to get another drink and she says, "course love, everything's in the kitchen". Everyone else seems to be drinking but I'm on the cola cause I don't want to make a full of myself and embarrass Brendan do I.

I walk into the kitchen and I'm pouring myself another cola when I feel someone behind me. I turn my head and see Eileen standing in the door way.

"_This is kind of awkward isn't it_, _but honestly it doesn't have to be" _she says.

"_I didn't think you'd want me in your house, I mean knowing that I'm with Brendan"_

"_Well I wasn't sure at first, but the more I thought about it, I realised that it wasn't you who broke up my marriage so why should I hate you. I mean it's clear that Brendan loves you…."_

I can't help but butt in at that point and say we are not there yet. She laughs and says,

"_He's not exactly the grand declaration kind of bloke, but he brought you here, knowing that everyone would be here, he's introduced you to my sons, so that should tell you how he feels"_

I can't help the smile that takes over my face. She just smiles back at me.

"_I don't know if I'll ever be able to properly forgive him for what he did, but that has nothing to do with you"_

At that point Cheryl walks in and says "_Erm Eileen, Macca's just turned up with his ma"_

Eileen's face drops and I can tell mine has done the same.

I stay in the kitchen for another ten minutes or so but I decide that I'm being stupid, I mean after everything Eileen has just said to me why am I the one hiding? I walk back out into the hall and almost straight into Macca. He smiles at me, seriously I hate this guy. He leans towards me and whispers, _"his dick really is amazing isn't it" _

I feel this rage running through me and I can't help but snear at him. _"Why don't you get it Macca, he moved countries and didn't even tell you he was going, if that doesn't tell you he's not interested nothing I can say will"_

I move to walk past him but he blocks my way and says,_ "and the things he can do with his tongue, oh god"_

It's like someone else has taken over my body and the next thing I know he's lying on the floor. I must have punched him. I look up and see Brendan standing at the top of the stairs looking down at us. He looks pissed off and I can't stay here any longer. I walk straight out the front door and just keep walking.

The taxi ride to Eileen's only took five minutes, we could have walked but Cheryl didn't want to mess up her hair. So I know I'm not that far from the hotel. After quite a few wrong turns I find myself in the city centre. I see a bridge that's all lit up and I walk over and stare at the water. The tears are practically dripping off of my chin. The anger I felt when I was walking has passed and all I feel now is awful. I'm devastated as the reality of what I've just done hits me. I just punched my boyfriends ex at his son's birthday party, I've ruined everything.

I feel someone behind me and then I hear him. His low voice as smooth as velvet and I can't help but sob cause I know he going to tell me we're over.

"_What happened Steven?"_

He tries to turn me so that I'm looking at him and although my body turns I can't lift my head to look at him.

He puts his fingers under my chin to make me look at him and just says _'Steven'_

I can't stop then. I just keep saying sorry over and over again but I'm crying so much that I don't even know if he'll be able to make out what I'm saying.

He pulls me into him and rests his chin on the top of my head. I just breathe him in cause this might be the last chance I get.

I start to calm down a bit as he's holding me; he just has that affect on me, being near him just calms me down. As my breathing begins to go back to normal he asks what happened again. I suppose I'm going to have to tell him, he's not going to let this go. So I do, I tell him that Eileen was being really nice to me, then Macca showed up and just started saying things to wind me up, I tried to brush it off but he just kept talking and the next thing I know he's lying on the floor and my hand hurts like hell. He lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. I can't believe he's being so gentle after what I've done. He starts to laugh and my brain can't catch up. I can't let myself believe everything is going to be ok. I look at him and ask him what's so funny cause from where I'm standing my world has just fallen apart. He stops laughing and smiles and says, _"Who knew you could punch like that, I better watch my back"_ then he leans down and kisses me. I honestly feel like my heart is going to melt, I can't believe he's still standing here with me, let alone kissing me.

I pull away from him and ask what we should do now, how the hell am I going to fix this. He tells me that first of all he needs to phone Cheryl cause she's out looking for me too. Then we are going to go back to the hotel and talk about how we can fix this.

We decide to go back to Eileen's tonight after everyone else has gone so that Brendan can see his boys. I offer to stay at the hotel but he tells me that I'm going, while giving me one of those looks that tells me I don't have a choice. I promise not to screw up again and he just shakes his head at me and gives me a kiss.

When we get to Eileen's it's Cheryl who opens the door and she pulls me into a hug squeezing me so tight I can barely breathe. I follow her into the living room and see Eileen sitting on a chair. I can't help but look down at my feet but Cheryl pushes me towards the couch and tells me to sit down. Eileen looks at Brendan and tells him that the boys are upstairs. He squeezes me shoulder and leaves the room.

"_Well, are you going to tell me what happened?"_

I feel like I'm back at school getting told off by the head. I just say I'm sorry and that Macca was winding me up. I don't go into detail; Eileen doesn't want to hear all that. I think she's going to shout at me cause when I look up her face is contorted with anger.

But when she finally speaks all she says is, "_Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that son of a bitch, it's not enough that he ruins my marriage, he has to ruin Declan's birthday too. Just wait till I get my hands on him, I swear to God". _She stands up and starts pacing the floor and all I can do is apologise again.

A little while later Brendan comes back down the stairs and the three of us head back to the hotel. We stop off at an off licence to pick up a bottle of Jamison's for Brendan, wine for Chez and beer for me then we walk back to the hotel.

We all sit in Cheryl's room but I'm knackered and after I drink one of the bottles of beer I just want to go to sleep. So I head back to our room and leave Brendan and Cheryl to it. We've still got a full day tomorrow in Dublin before we go back home. Let's hope it goes better than today.

_Please review_


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the delay I started a new job after 8 months maternity leave so it's been a bit of a strange couple of weeks.

This is basically just fluff – with a bit of smut cause well, it is Stendan after all. It's very cannon and basically an excuse for me to _have_ to watch the Dublin episodes again!

Thanks for all your lovely reviews. They really make my day

This will be the last chapter.

Hugs x

Chapter 7

I wake up with a weight above me and a warm wetness moving up the inside of my thigh. I think I must be dreaming, you know when you're in the stage between being asleep and being awake? But then I feel his mouth close over my dick and honestly this is the best wakeup call ever. I slide my hand under the covers and thread my fingers in his hair as he quickens his pace and rolls his tongue around my head. I cum embarrassingly quickly, it's too early in the morning to summon up any self-control. He crawls up the bed with a smile on his face and gently kisses me saying good morning as he pulls away.

"_So what are we gonna do today?"_ I ask him as he kisses my neck just over my pulse. I don't care what we do, I would be quite happy doing this all day.

"_Well, I'm gonna show you the sights, my sights"_ he says lifting his head to look into my eyes.

My breathe hitches in my throat, his eyes look so blue, he's gorgeous and all I can say is _"sounds promising"._

He keeps staring at me and says, "_doesn't it…..anything you wanna see" _and he kisses me, just a little one, _"or try"_ another kiss, a little bit longer this time, _"I'm your man, whatever the pleasure" _ he then leans back down and kisses me again, a proper full on kiss. He starts to deepen it and I can tell where this is heading but I pull away from him and say _"Guinness"_ he looks at me like I'm winding him up and repeats _"Guinness?"_ I nod then lean up to restart the kiss.

Needless to say it takes a while before we are ready to leave the hotel.

He takes me to a pub called Grogan's and I get us a table outside while he goes in to get us drinks. I know I'm sitting here with a stupid grin on my face. It's like everything that happened yesterday just doesn't matter. He came after me. I really wanted to tell him that I loved him last night, well this morning too, but I just can't seem to get the words out, I just feel like I don't want to jeopardise what we have and if I say that before he's ready I'll scare him off. If yesterday taught me anything it's that I can't loose him.

He walks over to the table and sits a pint in front of me. I look at it as if it's got teeth and is going to bite me, I know this was my idea but now it's in front of me I'm not so sure. I pick it up and take two sips as Brendan says, _"So what now, kidnap some leprechauns, buy ourselves a shamrock hat, what?" _I swallow the Guinness and screw my face up a bit at the taste saying, _"alright, I'm a tourist, its rank that" _nodding towards the glass. He laughs a bit and tells me it's an acquired taste. We then start to talk about when he lived here and I can help but ask loads of questions, well I've always been a bit gobby. He lifts my glass and pours the rest of my drink into a plant pot and gets up to walk away. I ask what he's doing and I follow him and he tells me he's going to show me where he grew up. I'm beginning to realise I'd follow him anywhere.

We walk around the city centre and then down to the water. We sit on the edge and stare out to sea. It's peaceful here.

"_Who was it?" I ask. _

He looks at me like he has no idea what I'm talking about, so I continue.

"_You said in the hotel that you were made to feel weak, who made you feel like that?"_ I have to ask cause I know Cheryl, and for all she's a bit full on sometimes, she's really open minded.

He stares out at sea and looks like he's fighting some sort of battle in his head. The he turns to look at me and mutters, _"My da"._

He stands up and reaches out to pull me up with him, then we walk back towards town. He doesn't talk the whole way.

We'd walked for ages and I could feel how distant Brendan was. I really should learn to keep my mouth closed, I mean, up until I asked him that question we'd been having a great day and me and my big mouth had to go and ruin it. He suddenly stops walking and I was so lost in thought that I almost walked into the back of him. He looks at me and says, _"Last stop Steven…..my da's pub, come on"_ and he crosses the road.

I look up and we are walking towards an old building that looks abandoned. I follow Brendan through the doors and down a set of stairs.

The whole place is covered in cobwebs and I get a horrible feeling, like chills running down my spine. He stands staring at the bar. I feel really uncomfortable here and I ask if we can go yet.

That's when he starts talking. And part of me really wishes he hadn't. It makes me feel sick.

He tells me how his dad used to hit him, but when he'd given him a job here he thought he'd finally been accepted by him. One day he stole a whiskey but his dad caught him and made fun of him to his mates. His dad then made him drink loads of shots to prove he was a man. Brendan had to run to the bathroom to be sick. His dad had called him _Brenda _and kept repeating it over and over again like a mantra.

I don't know how to break him out of this trance that he seems to be in. So I tell him it doesn't matter anymore, that it's the past and it's just dust now. He looks at me like he wants to believe it but I can tell he isn't quite there yet. So I pick up an empty bottle that was lying on one of the tables and throw it against the wall. Brendan smiles at me, like a real smile. Like what I just did made complete sense to him. He picks up a bar stool, looks at me and nods. He hits it off of a table then throws it against the wall. We both start picking up whatever is closest to us and just throwing it. Like by trashing the pub we are exorcizing all his demons. He turns at watches as I smash yet another bottle against the wall and I can't help but laugh. Then he grabs me and kisses me like his life depends on it. It rough and passionate and I guess the raw emotion of what we've just done is running through us both as we start tearing each other's clothes off.

Afterwards we are lying amongst the debris on the floor. My head is tucked under his chin as he draws circles on my back with his fingers. I look up at him and he leans down to kiss me. We both go to speak at the same time but I stop myself and let him continue.

He smiles at me and says, _"thank you Steven". _I smile back at him and lean up to give him a chaste kiss and tell him he has nothing to thank me for. I cuddle back into him cause I'm really not ready to move yet and I don't think my legs would work even if I tried to.

After a few seconds he remembers that I had been going to say something. He tries to get me to tell him but I keep refusing because the moment has past now and I'm back to thinking about the silence that would follow if I told him I love him. He reluctantly lets it go as I force myself to stand up and get dressed. My stomach rumbles and I realise that we haven't eaten all day.

We end up in a little bistro type café, nothing too pretentious though and it's back to being easy again. The conversation just flows and the dark mood that he was in earlier has disappeared. We finish off with dessert, I have chocolate mousse and he has crème brulee because he says anything that is made with a blow torch is awesome. And of course he has a whiskey.

After dinner we walk back to the hotel. It feels really romantic. This is how I dreamt our trip to Ireland would be, not me punching his ex and storming off or him be weighed down by his dick of a dad. I'm so lost in thought that it takes me a few seconds to realise that he's not walking beside me anymore. I turn to find him and I notice that we are standing on the bridge that he found me on last night. It's only now that I realise that the bridge is covered in padlocks, which is pretty weird, I mean I've walked over loads of bridges and none have had that. I move over to the railing and hold one of the padlocks in my hand. It's got names written on it.

"_They're called love locks"_ he says, _"if you love somebody you write both your names on a padlock and throw the key into the river"._

I feel a pang of jealousy rise up in my stomach as I ask if he's ever done one before. My mind floats back to Macca, God I hate him.

Brendan gives me a shy smile and says, "_No, Eileen wanted one but I kept putting her off, I mean, I may have been firmly in my closet but I knew it wasn't proper love". _He walks towards me, so close that his chest brushes against mine and he gently rubs his thumb over my cheek.

"_You wanna do one?"_

For a moment I don't know which one of us said that, I mean, I've been wanting to tell him that I love him for weeks but it wasn't me who spoke. He starts to fidget and I realise I've kinda left him hanging.

"_Is that your round about way of telling me that you love me?"_ I ask because I can't believe this is happening.

He pulls me towards him and circles his arms round my waist and says _"that depends on whether you want one or not?"_

I can't help the smile that practically takes over my face and I pull his face towards me and into a brutal kiss. It's usually him who kisses the air from my lungs but it's totally me that's in control of this one. I pull away from him just far enough so that I can talk and I tell him that I love him too. We kiss again and he pulls his arms tighter around me so there is no space between us. I subconsciously roll my hips forward so our groins rub together; my body is just desperate for some friction because I am achingly hard. He pulls away from me with a smile and says, _"Come on" _and we practically run back to the hotel.

We are barely through the door when I pounce on him. He supports my weight with ease as I wrap my legs around his waist and continue to kiss him. He spins us and throws me onto the bed then climbs up the bed till he's straddling me. He pulls his black jumper over his head as I struggle out of my t-shirt. God this has only just started and I'm already shaky and uncoordinated. He leans down and licks a stripe up from my belly button to my left nipple. He licks and sucks at it then kisses just where my heart is. I hear him tell me that he loves me and it's the first time he's actually said those words to me and my breathe hitches in my throat. He continues to kiss upwards till he's lightly sucking my neck and behind my ear. He tells me he loves me again and I can't help the giggle that escapes my mouth, I don't think I'll ever tire of hear him say that. He tilts his head to the side and says _"problem Steven?"_ I just smile at him and pull him down for another kiss mumbling that he's obviously gone soft on me. He barks out a laugh and tells me he'll prove he's not soft, as he rolls his hips forward rubbing his very prominent erection against my own. My head rolls backwards and a sigh falls from my mouth and as he works his way back down my body I tell him that I love him too.

What follows is not our usual sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is never predictable with us but this is just different. It's slower and like we are really just taking our time with each other. The soppy romantic part of me thinks this is what making love is like.

I wake up in the morning with Brendan's whole body practically wrapped around me. I kiss along his arms cause it's the only bit of him my mouth can reach. He stretches out as he wakes up the rolls back over and gives me a kiss then says _"good morning Steven"._

The phone begins to ring and Brendan stretches over to answer it and I am mesmerised by the way his muscles work as he moves. He gets off the phone and says that it was Cheryl just checking if we were up and ready.

He looks at me and says _"hey, time to go home". _I nod and he takes my hand to pull me out the bed and we get ready to go back to Hollyoaks.

_Please, please, please review._

_Thank you so much to all the lovely people who have followed and favorited this story and especially to everyone who reviews, your thoughts really do inspire me._


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